Some people have incorrect conceptions of how to make a marriage work which can ruin your marriage. Learning about these mistakes and tips to help you to save your marriage and have a better matrimony.
Incorrect conception: Your partner should know what you need and want automatically.
Many people believe that if their spouse really loves them, he (or she) should know what their needs and wants are, and take prompt action to satisfy them. If their partner does not know what they want, it will hurt their feelings and anger will be accumulated in their mind.
Marriage tip: Your needs and wants must be shared frankly with your partner. Do not think that he (or she) can read your mind. Inform your spouse clearly what you want.
Incorrect conception: Your partner has to change before both of you can enjoy a happy marriage.
Many people blame their partner for their unhappy marriage. They just sit back and avoid the challenge of working on themselves, and do nothing but wait and hope that one day their spouse will decide to change his (or her) behavior and make their marriage more happy.
Marriage tip: Working on yourself and changing to be the kind of partner you like whether or not your spouse ever changes. Keep in mind that you can not create a happy marriage if you are not happy yourself.
Incorrect conception: You should be considered selfish if you do not put your partner’s needs before your own.
If you don’t respect yourself, others won’t either. Marriage is about give-and-take, so do not devaluate your own needs or agree with everything your partner suggests.
Marriage tip: You can respect your own needs without being self-centered or bossy by try to find an imaginative way together to meet both you and your partner needs.
Incorrect conception: Your partner should always share 50% of the effort and time to keep the marriage going.
In the real world, the effort and time expended by each partner to the marriage may never be completely equal. Sometimes one spouse carries most of the load or makes most of the effort to keep the marriage going.
Marriage tip: Look at the overview and focus on the bigger picture instead of trying to keep everything equal on a daily basis. Giving a 100% effort to your marriage when required.
Incorrect conception: A successful marriage is a marriage with no conflicts or arguments.
The marriage goal is not to have a marriage with no arguments or disagreements, but to find a way to disagree without being unpleasant or impolite to each other. Open disagreements or heated arguments with strongly stated viewpoints and opinions make a married couple be engaged in the relationship instead of letting it faded away.
Marriage tip: Try to express your real opinions, needs, and preferences to your partner. You may need to develop some rules together to avoid any anger during an argument.